[poem] This is how a year ends.

This is how a year ends:

I watch the seconds slip by,
in almost silence. 
I light no fireworks.

When the last year came in I
ran through streets, 
waved at strangers,
danced with sparklers in both fists
to the rhythm of exploding skies. I

wished for a brighter year, 
a better life. I
am, perhaps, a better self:

beaten, battle-worn, 
maybe wiser. 
Definitely, older.
Definitely, tired.

Maybe a little lighter,
for all that I have lost.

Another year is ending.
I count the seconds, count the cost
of all the hope I offered
on the pyre of the sky:

family turned strangers,
love dissolving into lies
that we will keep on telling,
if only to keep the peace.

I watch the new year enter,
silent, slow; release
a breath I did not know
I’d held back all this time.

Let others loose their noisy hopes.
This year, I’ll whisper mine.



Happy new year.


[poem] After Ours

A postcard.

Hello, Hong Kong,
I’ve missed you.
You’re still the closest
I’ve gotten to sky.
I was bright, but
you are still brighter;
your words, in black-and-white
glow, our last embers.

I still remember
those long night wanders;
the slight British lilt in your voice.
I loved the young-old world of you,
but in the end, you made your choice. I
turned my back
on The Peak, in the dark.
And our sparks
never met, only flew.

Oh Hong Kong,
I didn’t need to go back.
But the truth is,
I still missed you.


For N., who I could not keep.


[Poem] Your Apartment

(Another after- If You Ever Come Back poem.)

For now, a home is not in the belonging.
This studio apartment is not built for two, but you
You can have guests over. They make you remember
to turn the lights on, to wash the dishes
and make yourself dinner. At 3AM,
they will say their goodbyes over
the bottle of merlot you saved for a special occasion.
That’s when you decide

that every day you learn to live alone
is a special occasion. You
are discovering that love is not the only reason
to play some music,
turn the lights on,
change the sheets, and
open your windows;

That, by yourself,
you deserve to have fresh air.