Gratitude: A quick ‘Epilogue’ for Brazil

This is it: the end of Lonelygirl’s Brazilian Adventures.

Half-an-hour or so from now, I will be getting in the taxi that will take me from the apartment where I’ve been staying to Maringá’s tiny airport (local flights only), where I’ll be taking a plane to São Paulo. From São Paulo, I’ll be making my way to New York, and after reuniting with minha mae and staying in the USA for a week (well, five days), I arrive in Manila on May 25th, at 11:15pm.

I’m feeling a strange sense of calm at the prospect of leaving.  I’ve had a pack of Kleenex at the ready since this morning but it’s untouched, so far.  I’m not in denial this time around–the bags packed and stacked up, ready to drag downstairs, make denial impossible–but at the same time leaving here feels surreal.  For the first tine in weeks, I’m facing the fact that Maringá is not actually my home.

It sure felt like it though, during the six weeks I was here.

I guess there’s nothing more left to feel.  The last couple of days have been a rollercoaster of emotions, from the goodbye parties, to the AIESEC “sugar cubes,” to my co-interns leaving for Rio (still not completely over that, I think), to last night’s sweet and simple dinner with Laisé and my roomies (Sayuri, Midori, and Carla; Fernanda had a meeting).  I’ve run the gamut from euphoric to absoluty heartbroken, and after all those peaks and troughs I guess I’ve settled into a comfortable, peaceful sense of melancholy.

…woah.  Zen much?

Seriously, though, this experience was amazing, and until now I find it difficult to find words that can sum it all up.  How can you describe something that has changed, not just your life, but the person living it?  “Life-changing” is too cliché.  Sometimes I find the English language dreadfully limiting.

Well, now all goodbyes have been said, belongings packed, last-minute travel preparations seen to, and my final Brazilian meal (veggie tempura, a personal favorite made by my Japanese-descended host-sisters) consumed.  All that’s left is for the taxi to come, and for me to have my inevitable meltdown at the airport (hopefully I won’t get too many weird looks).  I’m not quite sure what more there is to say about this chapter of Lonelygirl’s adventures other than “Thank you,” so I’ll say it in my best Brazilian Portuguese.

“Obrigada por tudo, Brasil.  Até mais!”

~ NC


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